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At times, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments often turn “detached from reality”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, where he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his conduct, making him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from external sources. He began to think he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. But, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment without having independently formed that realization on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

While people have been called narcissists for more than a century, definitions vary what people refer to as the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, adding the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he believes many people hide it, because of so much stigma around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through actions such as seeking admiration,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

Though three-quarters of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, studies suggests this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, similar to everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who posts about her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she shares, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I either go into a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures during development. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my household were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Origins of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be connected with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for psychological counseling via government-funded care (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: “They said it is expected around maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he explains. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number